- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
- Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
- If the plural of "mouse" is "mice, shouldn't the plural of "house" be "hice"?
- Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?
- Ever wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?
- I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
- Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
- Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
- The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
- That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
- Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
- Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
- I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
- [Grab his/her bum.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
- Is it hot in here or is it just you?
- How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
- Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
- I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
- I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.
This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirrorwhere one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in someway.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!
Good friends are like stars........ You don't always see them, But you know they are always there.
"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"
I would rather have one rose and a kind word from afriend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.
